The Mysterious Tale of Doritos
Plunged into quite the strange dream, I found myself letting my group of friends know I’d be taking a nap before joining them at Cici’s Pizza for dinner. Yes, I took a nap in my dream. How sleepy do you have to be do dream up a nap in the middle?
I awoke, got dressed, and headed to Cici’s. This was no ordinary restaurant. It took up the entire basement of a large building, with maybe 13 or so separate rooms connected by a labyrinth of hallways. It seemed everywhere I turned, there was a red head roaming around nearby. He was taller than me, very skinny, and had bushy hair and a full beard. For some reason, he had dyed his hair bright cherry red, leaving his beard his natural red. He seemed to be prancing as he walked. I decided to call him Mr. Redhead. I found the room where my friends were already eating, and said hello to the tables of my family along the way. I never figured out why they were in Minnesota, and not the ones with whom I was sharing dinner.
I took off my coat and went looking for the buffet. There’s Mr. Redhead again. I finally get to the buffet, but can’t find the pizza, so I get pasta salad and return to the table to eat. Mr. Redhead was again in the hallway, this time whistling.
I return to the buffet to see if I can find pizza this time. I still see only pasta salad, but then a man near the end of the buffet starts yelling Bible verses. As soon as he does, pizza appears out of thin air. I decide to quickly fill my plate before it disappears.
I get one piece in my plate, and a table of people start singing a song I did not recognize in what had to be the worst rendition of anything I had ever heard. I looked to the lady next to me to gauge her reaction, and she seemed to share my sentiment. She quickly reached in her purse, grabbed a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, and we each took two. We both shoved a Dorito in each ear – relief! Looking over at the singing table, I notice they were about to cry, so the lady and I removed our corn chip earplugs and exit the room. I decided to eat the one piece of pizza, hopefully to return to the buffet when the singing table had left.
The lady exited through another hallway, and then I saw Mr. Redhead coming down the hall. Suddenly, music started playing, stopping both of us in our tracks. We look at each other as if we received subconscious instructions, and galloped straight toward each other. In the middle of the hallway, we lock elbows and do-si-do in circles.
It was at that moment I awoke to realize my friend Coral was calling my cell phone. The music for my do-si-do was the ringtone. I’m not sure I can ever look at nacho cheese Doritos the same again, but every time I get a call I have a nearly uncontrollable urge to dance in a circle with someone. Shall we dance?